Dating two guys same time internet dating etiquette first date


12-Apr-2016 13:39

I was never comfortable playing the field by dating two guys at a time—I felt sneaky and unethical.

I didn’t know how to deal with two men texting and calling me or how to handle their sexual advances.

I was never good at dating more than one man at time.

When a man showed a genuine interest in me, I would stop dating other men for one BIG reason: I lacked confidence to juggle several men at once because I doubted my self-worth.

They’re all in the notes section of my phone: the 26-year-old graphic designer from Baltimore. A couple of actor/bartenders who live within a five-mile radius of my place in Central Los Angeles.

The 37-year-old who works at an ad agency, has a sweet pit bull, and an enviable vinyl collection — but is so obviously not over his ex-fiancée.

Women can try to make the argument that men date multiple women all the time, but men only do this when we are out to ‘play’ - we don’t do this when we are looking for ‘the one’.

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When I was smitten with a new man (fantasizing that he liked me as much as I liked him) I immediately declined date invitations from other men.

When you're on a date with one person but thinking about another person. This guy has superior abs and is a better listener most of the time. Even if I double up on something, I can just pretend my phone sent the text twice. What if their roommate/friend you met sees you on a date with someone else? When you tell a story a bunch of times because you can't remember which one you already told it to.

OK, I think I'm just gonna copy/paste text all three of them as much as possible. Especially when I'm seeing other people besides you in a romantic context, which I am absolutely doing right now. When you tell someone you just want to keep it casual for now and they think that just means you don't want to get married and have kids within the year. Rest in peace, that one time I dated like a baller.

And, since I don't have a top-notch memory, it also requires keeping a handy list in my phone.

The logic behind multi-dating isn’t rooted so much in the need to distract oneself with a bunch of dudes following a breakup (although it totally can be) as it is in what men have long called "playing the field.” And, it's certainly not a new concept. If a woman is not in a mutually committed relationship, she should be able to date as many men as she chooses. I had a roundtable discussion with a few of my friends (both men and women) about this and was quite surprised by some of the answers that I received.



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